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The Board Meeting

Kristina England | Kristy Lankford

Mr. Brynswick raised his hand. “I make a motion to accept.”

Ms. Jankoni frowned. “To accept what?”

“The amendment to Mr. Kantum’s request.”

“Which one?”

“Oh, good point. The amendment made by Mr. Thompson.”

Mr. Kantum scoffed and put his head in his hands.

Ms. Jankoni sighed. “Barry, we have only 250 dollars in the budget. We can’t possibly take your request as is.”

“But my funding request is for 240 dollars, which will leave ten to spare,” Mr. Kantum argued.

The Treasurer, a skinny man with a dapper look about him, anxiously looked at Ms. Jankoni, who was serving what felt like her 30th year as President on the Board, when in all actuality it had been a gruelling six months of trying to manage over spenders and micromanagers. She had of course quickly learned you can’t teach common sense, basic math, or collaboration in such a setting.

“That’s it! I can’t take it anymore,” Ms. Jankoni said. “Barry, we have other expenses! We can’t just spend, spend, spend. Find a way to come up with the money.”

Mr. Kantum laughed, apparently misunderstanding her declaration as a joke. He sat firmly on his duff, which was a job he happened to perform very well and enjoyed for that matter. In fact, it was quite evident that he wasn’t a very mobile person, his waist being quite wider than his waistband advised.

“I have a new amendment to the recommendation,” said the Vice President, who was too annoyingly dense to name. He even had one of those long, slow drawling voices that never quite end, but rather fade into the background.

“Me too,” said a guy no one really knew. He may have been a new member of the organization, but no one bothered to ask. That would have required interest of which they had none.

Ms. Jankoni sighed. “I say we adjourn so I can get a gin.”

“But we haven’t made any decisions yet,” said someone or maybe everyone. It wasn’t quite clear (although it never was).

“Precisely. Let me know when you do. No, strike that from the record, Ernie. Don’t call me or email me or tweet me, for that matter,” Ms. Jankoni said as she walked out the door.

“Motion to accept the original proposal,” Mr. Kantum said.

“Seconded, I guess,” said the new guy.

“All in favor,” Mr. Kantum stated, before anyone could object.

The Treasurer grumbled to himself.

“I do believe he said ‘I,’” stated the Vice President.

“Fantastic. Now for the next funding request for adding desserts to our Board Meetings.”

“Oh, I love desserts!”

And so the Board Meeting continued and, as you might guess, Ernie the Secretary took no notes at all.

About Kristina England

Kristina England resides in Worcester, Massachusetts. Her writing is published or forthcoming at Crack the Spine, Extract(s), Gargoyle, The Hessler Street Fair Anthology, The Quotable, Yellow Mama, and other magazines. Find her on her blog.

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