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We Appreciate Your Business

Jill Schmehl | Cait Maloney

You have — 1 — new message….

Yeah, hi, My name is Sam Watsen. I own a company called Watches In Time. If you recall, you contacted me through Craig’s List to repair your grandfathers watch? Well, there’s a slight problem. Because, you see, the box you sent me, well it didn’t contain what I was expecting. The watch was in there alright, and, as an aside, the watch is in good shape and I only had to replace one spring to get it working again. But, well what I’d like to know is, what do you want me to do with the severed hand the watch was wrapped around?

You know, heh-heh, you gave me quite a shock there. At first I thought maybe it just a funny joke. A wax hand, just to freak me out. But, I’m sure you can imagine, working through Craig’s List as I do, I get sent quite a few odd things through the mail. That’s the reason I got that retired bomb sniffing dog from the TSA. So if it was a joke, I’m sorry to say it didn’t have it’s intended effect. Also, I have a friend who is a surgeon and he took a look at the hand and assured me that not only is it real, but that it’s relatively fresh. Probably cause of all the ice you packed it in.

So, yeah, my friend said I should call the cops but I pointed out your excellent rating on Craig’s List and said that, obviously, someone with such a high rating couldn’t do anything criminal. And besides all that, I would never do business with a man who would chop off his grandfather’s hand just to get a watch fixed. So my conclusion to all this nonsense is that there is some logical, rational reason for this severed hand.

Like maybe you weren’t sure how to remove it from your grandfather’s corpse after he died? The clasp is a little tricky on that model. Or maybe the undertaker misunderstood what you were asking for when you called to have the watch removed before the cremation? I’m sure stranger things have happened in that industry.

Anyway, the reason I’m calling is this: Now that the watch is fixed, do you want me to send the hand back too or can I toss it? It’s starting to smell and the dog keeps trying to bury it.

Feel free to give me a call back any time. Here at Watches In Time, we are never off the clock. We appreciate your business. Bye now.

BEEP End of Message

About Jill Schmehl

Jill Schmehl spends most of her waking hours attempting to capture the thoughts that scurry around her mind and put them to work entertaining others. You can find these thoughts on her blog, Mind of a Mouse.

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