Skip to content
Image for Middle School

Middle School

Gideon Bolson | Cait Maloney

Published on 2013-07-13

It’s hard to be cool. Skinny jeans make you cool, but they make my thighs sweaty. My mother says wearing them puts my ability to have children at risk when I grow up. I guess I should have a kid now before it’s too late.

My skinny jeans are pretty cool though. They’re so cool I get to sit at the cool table at lunch. We were sitting there talking about girls. Jack said he lost his virginity. He’s 14. I wanted to be cooler than him, so I told him I lost mine when I was 7. Jack says I got raped. I don’t get to sit at the cool table anymore though.

I played Bloody Mary at my friend’s house when I slept over. I said it three times in the mirror while the lights were out and nothing happened, so I laughed about it and we played more video games. I woke up at 3AM to go to the bathroom. The toilet got clogged because I ate too much pizza. I was trying to use the plunger to unclog it when the door creaked open and some dark figure started shuffling around. I got all panicky and swung at it with the dirty, wet plunger. Turns out it was Jack’s mom. I’m not welcome there anymore.


About Gideon Bolson

Gideon Bolson is a Sociology student at Concordia University, Saint Paul. He enjoys writing about the humor found in the strangeness of everyday life.

Visit the author's page >

No ads, more features

If you enjoy The Story Shack, will you support my work with a small tip?

PayPal, credit card and many local payment options accepted.

Supporters unlock instant benefits

  • No more ads
  • Full access to all the apps
  • ...and more to come!

See more details on my Ko-fi page.

Is your browser blocking ads? Then this is an awesome way to still support with hosting and further development!

Thank you!
- Martin