Should I Leave or Stay?

Shelli Robins | Alankrita Amaya

Marissa sat at the bar staring at her half empty glass of red wine. She loved red wine and right now it was the only thing that was keeping her sane during this time of indecisiveness. It was 10 pm on Wednesday night and she was out way beyond her curfew.

“Damn! I should have waited until the weekend,” she thought, taking another sip from the glass. Her eyes followed as she swirled the wine glass around in circles before taking another swig of it.

Marissa didn’t socialize much at all but when she did it was relaxing and soothing to her soul. The live jazz band was playing softly in the background. The calming atmosphere, and being able to sit alone debating in her head whether to leave Lamont was as good as it gets. Today however, she was sick of the debate. Marissa swallowed one last gulp of wine before reaching inside her clutch bag and pulling out some cash to pay her tab. She knew that she had better head out before Lamont, her celebrity athlete husband got home. Lamont played NBA and his nights never ended early, except on the weekends. His weekend hours often extended to 8 in the morning. “What a joke that was,” she thought smirking as she picked up her clutch purse to leave. Marissa swooped her hair behind her ear from her face as she looked down to close her purse.

Lamont did not approve of Marissa being at any bar sipping on anything, especially this bar. He had actually forbid her from “going out”. They had words about her being here at her little get-a-way jazz spot Chaise Lounge which he referred to as the pick up bar. So she knew she had better make her exit to avoid him slipping up on her.

She fingered come here seductively to Anthony the bartender and owner. He smiled and walked over to her to collect the money.

“Thanks Marissa. It is always my pleasure to see you. Don’t stay away so long,” Anthony said smiling. Anthony was tall, light complexioned, sexy and buffed with no visable body fat. Although he was bar tending, he dressed with swag and smelled so clean and fresh. His walk, talk and mannerisms were beyond sexy and he owned the club. It was hard for any woman not to lust after him. The women, who came to the bar, came especially to see Anthony but he never gave any of them the time of day. They flirted, left their cell numbers on napkins and nearly took their size DD’s out right at the bar on the counter but it didn’t seem to faze him. He ignored all except for Marissa. He was always a gentleman and treated Marissa with the highest level of respect. Marissa could tell that if she were not married to Lamont, Anthony would try to court her. “Hell, she would date his fine self,” she thought watching him fill two glasses at a time with beer. Marissa stood up and smoothed her hands down over her orange fitted dress.

“See you soon Anthony.” She took out a twenty-dollar bill and her valet ticket and walked towards the door.

“Aw man!” she said approaching the door. Anthony hadn’t validated her ticket. Marissa walked back as Anthony stood in one spot looking at Marissa from her Jimmy Choo stilettos, up her perfectly waxed legs, hips, waist, breast and then to her face. He looked at the soft locks of curls that fell on her shoulders and shook his head back and forth.

“Damn!” he whispered.

“I forgot to get my ticket validated,” she said breathing heavily.

“Here you are,” Anthony said stamping the ticket never moving his eyes from Marissa’s eyes. His hand touched hers sending chills through her body.

“Thank you,” Marissa said, being careful not to flirt with him. She turned and walked away.

She dare not turn back toward Anthony. She knew he was still watching her.

Marissa sat down in the driver’s seat of her 2015 Mercedes Benz S65 AMG Coupe. It was her peace gift after a six-week extensive marital counseling session. They were there all because Lamont had cheated again. Except this time, there was a baby as a result of his cheating. This was the ninth affair and second baby, that she knew about. Only God knew how many more times she didn’t know about. It made her sick to her stomach every time she thought about the pain his cheating caused her.

“No married woman with kids has any business sitting up at a bar,” was his notorious comeback line. He used that one fault of hers in every argument they had as if it were comparable to his reckless and irresponsible infidelity. However, this was the life she chose. ‘Twelve Years a Slave’ could have easily been the title of her life with Lamont. She was imprisoned in her marriage. She wiped her tears and shook her head at the thought of losing her boys if she left Lamont. Marissa was beginning to hyperventilate. She cried harder wishing her parents were still alive. Although she had a law degree Lamont reminded her often that without him, she had and was nothing.

Marissa nervously pressed the garage door button. She drove inside and ran towards the ringing telephone. Her heart raced, but she tried to compose her fear of missing the call.

She answered in the knick of time.

“Hello?” She answered panting.

“You had better be home,” Lamont snapped. “Just calling to say, I won’t be home tonight.”

Marissa buried her wet face in her hands. She weighed her sanity, lack of affection, emotional stress, loneliness, social restrictions and his infidelity to how life would be without him.

“I’ll be gone,” she said bravely.

Lamont began yelling. But she didn’t care. She hung up the phone.