Chris McCartney

McCartney has been fired by several organizations for his inability to brown-nose and goat-logic problem solving skills. He currently wastes entire weeks in his disheveled office compiling lists of things he’ll never accomplish.

Stories by Chris McCartney

Howdy Doody’s Dad

Illustrated by Terri Kelleher

I beetled across the gulag floor, Tequila right extended, lipped a phony smile, “Hey, I’m Sarah. Sorry I’m late.” Bechley Industries personnel manager, Jim Johnston, didn’t move. Made me nervous. I wondered if I missed a couple buttons or maybe toilet paper dragged behind a shoe. Johnston looked familiar. His thinning orange hair was broomed …